Updated: May 11, 2021
A huge challenge over the years has been my tendency to self-edit to such a degree that I never put any music out there. Nothing is ever finished. Nothing is ever "good enough". Nothing is ever something I want to claim.
I am, by leagues, my own worst critic.
At the end of 2020, I decided that had to change. I am getting older, and life is not a dress rehearsal.
My first step was to re-establish this site in October 2020. My next goal was to have a Bandcamp page operational and with a release on 1 January 2021. I also decided that I would release a new piece of music each month come hell or high-water. So far, I've kept all of those promises, and I've learned a bit about myself to boot.
For one, I have a tendency to take a nice, simple enjoyable thing and expand the scope to make it a lot more complicated and tension-filled than necessary. So, I went from the idea of releasing a simple 2 or 3 minute musical piece each month to adding the requirement that I must create a unique video to go with it. Oh, and each month's effort must use some piece of equipment that I have lying around here that is under-used. (So that means I have to learn how to use it while trying to create something.) Oh, and why not learn Max to create a unique software instrument to use, and TouchDesigner so I can create original self-generated, audio-reactive visuals?
That last one is absolutely true by the way, and almost sank the effort for April. (I had to simplify things greatly to put something out by deadline. I finished the music at exactly 11:30 pm on 30 April. I was a week late releasing though because I still insisted on creating a video!)
The upsides to the all of this: 1) One of the things I absolutely love doing is learning new things especially in the realm of music and production. I am using more of my tools and learning a helluva lot. 2) As I finish and release more things, it gets easier to, well, finish and release more things! I am gaining confidence that it isn't just luck when a piece isn't embarrassing. 3) I need a certain level of tension/pressure to produce. For me, a creative deadline and the requirement to focus to meet it, is a good thing. Otherwise I never 'finish' a creative effort.
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